Life with Lomi and Autism

Lorenzo Miguel, or Lomi, as we fondly call him is our firstborn child. He had just turned 10 years old on October 29. I can clearly remember the day he was born. I had laboured for 19 hours but ended up having a cesarean section! It was well worth it though. My baby Lomi was beautiful…just perfect. My husband Jun and I had often talked about the many dreams and aspirations we had for him…of how excited we were to see him grow to his fullest potential…

Lomi was such a playful baby, enjoyed peek-a-boo and stacking blocks. He started to babble at about 9 months and at 12 months was saying mama and papa. At 13 months he could “ja-ja” referring to his favorite restaurant, Jollibee. And then one day, our spirited young man decided to become quiet all the sudden and he was never the same again. It was the little things at first. He didn’t quite respond to his name when called. He seemed very intent on certain TV commercials. When he wanted something, he was quite the industrious little one and unrecognizing the danger, he would climb up tables and chairs to get the object he wanted. And the tantrums he threw when he failed to get what he wanted!!! Like most parents, we had thought and come up of millions of excuses to explain his behavior. But at night before we went to bed, Jun and I would echo the same sentiment to each other, “What was going on?”

October 17, 1998. We had just come out of a consultation with our developmental pediatrician. One word was ringing in our ears and that word was autism. Jun and I were crushed. How can our baby be autistic? Have we done something wrong as parents? Have we not given him the best there is to ensure his optimum development? There was no time for blame, for despair. My husband and I held to our hope that we can still make a difference for Lomi. No later than that same afternoon, I was on the phone calling up different special schools and looking into programs that would best help Lomi. We were lucky. The Center for Autism and Developmental Disorders (CARD), the only school in the country which exclusively catered to children with autism had an opening. I was told beforehand that there was a year long waitlist to get into the school. The fates were smiling down upon us. However, that was only the beginning. Little did we know how exacting and rigorous life would be.

It was hard. My husband and I were much involved with Lomi’s therapy program. First we did the home therapy program. The key was to be firm and consistent. Even as he would be crying and throwing tantrums to get what he wanted, we were to never waiver. It was really hard especially when all the time we just wanted to hug and comfort him. Countless of times we had questioned ourselves about the pain and anger we were causing our son. But he had to learn. It was tough love. Soon, Jun and I were sucked in to the world of therapists and teachers. Lomi had an occupational therapist, a speech therapist and went to school… all at the tender age of two. Our second child, Maxine, was barely 4 months old when Lomi got his diagnosis. As Lomi went to school, she would also be brought there to spend time with her brother. As a result, Maxine became quite adept in interacting with Lomi and understood his ways completely. She is her brother’s biggest defender. At Lomi’s school, one couldn’t help but smile at the sight of a two year old girl in diapers addressing a class of three four year olds, “Sit down…behave…listen!” and impressively enough, they followed her. To this day, Maxine remains Lomi’s staunchest ally.

The first time I heard my son spoke an intelligible word again, he was four years old. In our vernacular language, he had said “Ouch!” when his “yaya” had stepped on his foot by accident. I felt tears in my eyes. And then it was followed by many other wonderful words. Never mind that he doesn’t speak perfectly. Articulation is still a problem.
What’s important is that he gets to communicate. To overcome his difficulties, Lomi is quite proficient now in using communication picture symbols. Really, even our youngest daughter, Nikki is learning her words together with kuya.

Now that he is in his tween years, much of the focus in his school is vocational skills. To our amusement and amazement, he is quite a wonder in the kitchen. I am proud that he can cook his own rice, and even prepare his own food. I have realized recently, my son, is so much more functional at home than I am!!

It has been and still is a journey with Lomi. To us, he is a constant source of joy and discovery. Our sorrow of long before has been replaced by an anticipation of the many things Lomi can potentially do. He isn’t perfect ( but who is, really?). We have come to terms with his autism. Because of autism, we have forged ties with countless of other parents, teachers and therapists…all wonderful people who are working towards the realizing the full potential of our children. Because of autism, Jun and I have been strengthened as a couple and in our resolve to provide best for Lomi and his sisters as well. In our hearts, Lomi may not learn about quantum physics nor become the lawyer his father dreamed of him to be, we are quite content in knowing that we are preparing him for a life in which he is functional and can live independently. In knowing, that in the future, when we, his parents, are gone, Lomi will still be loved and cared for by many because he is who he is.