healing

I have been under self imposed house arrest since my post call day on June 3rd. You may wonder how can I afford not to go to work. Well, I am on elective month right now and I elect not to do anything. If my boss (who is Brit and quite affable) knew this, he will probably pick me up and say "Carry along now, child!" Really, I have to get cranking on my research which I admittedly have been quite slow to progress with. Even though I am a baby doctor, I am not so stupid so as not to recognize the signs of my own ails.
1. Lingering within me is a feeling of emptiness.
2. I wake up in the morning without any feeling of purpose to get out of bed.
3. I only eat wheaties and milk.
Need I go on? I am depressed. Why? Well, apart from the obvious reason (evident from reading my blogs), work here is far more stressful than I have ever imagined it to be.
I agree with Tony Dans. I probably fall within the classification of the hard working group who is now burnt out. Having diagnosed myself, the cure is quite certain. I need to re-invigorate myself. How?
The weather is not helping. It is dark and overcast outside...adding further to the gloominess I feel.
Enough of that.
I need to move and be part of humanity rather than get all boxed in this space.
Okay.
1. I will re-arrange my bedroom. That is always therapeutic, I find. It is quite a mess now--- a mirror of my inner turmoil.
2. I will do my laundry. Yuck! How can I have allowed two weeks of dirty clothes to accumulate?
3. I will go out and re-do my registration with the local post graduate medical education board.
4. I will go to the bookstore and find myself a good non-medical and non-journal read. I used to be a wide reader...I will rekindle that person in me once more.
5. I will cook myself a nice rack of oven baked barbecued ribs and settle with a cool bottle of beer. Sit back. Relax. Unwind.
There, my five point agenda for today....it will take baby steps for this baby doctor to heal.