It hit me on the head

It has been ages since I wandered into this blog site but I thought I would give it a go again. I hope to just tell stories and let others who may face the same happy-sad situation I (our family) find my(our) selves in that they are not alone. I was hit on the head eight times last night. The eyes that looked at me were angry, had a lot of contempt and unapologetic. All this even though there were two people trying to dissuade those hands from punishing me. It was overpowering. As soon as it happened, it stopped. What did happen? A few minutes earlier, my typically sweet 21 year old boy-man (Lomi has autism) suddenly gritted his teeth and started wailing, hitting his head. In our family, I am the center of calm and when he goes into this mode (triggered by who knows), I usually am able to talk him through it and make him relax. Well, he did not. He raged. He raged. What shook me was that he even laid a finger on me. It was not because it was painful. "Mama Donna...cahh"...Cahh is "cry". He wanted to see me cry or rather, expected that I would do so. But I didn't. I still kept calm and showed him that I was not angry rather, sad. Very sad and he didn't like that. So he blew off some more steam. Jumping and yelling and hitting his head. His father was able to sit him down and started to massage him. He likes massage. And then he calmed down. "Mama Donna, sorry. Sorry." This was followed by a rain of kisses. Deep inside, I have a good son, a lovely boy with so much I still need to understand. It (again) hit me on the head.