onwards

I find myself sitting in front of my old trusty laptop. Yes, I am back. Back in Toronto. I could hardly believe it myself. My vacation month went by so quickly. And to earmark my comeback, there is a blizzard in the forecast tomorrow, my first day again at work. A blizzard. My sentiments exactly.

When I arrived, I struggled with my apartment keys, somehow finding them quite unfamiliar. I felt dreary. From the moment I started the trip back, thoughts of how my days were filled in the month that was constantly flooded my mind.

I cocooned with my family. I savored just being mama again. Wonderful. I seriously did not want to take this trip again. I felt the life in me being sucked away.

When I finally got the door opened, I had the welcome surprise of plants in the apartment. Life beckons. Time to think positive...to look forward.

feline (non) fiction

This blog is about a cat.
I have this friend who was kind hearted enough to welcome to a frail stray kitten (pusa-kal) into her home. So fragile was the creature that it could not even manage to drink the milk from her own bowl. Her new mistress bought a "bottle set" for feeding. It was rigorous. My friend had reliable help among her sisters to keep to the timetable for feeding. This kitty was one lucky cat. Soon it was purring. And why not? She was bathed frequently, shared a nice cozy bed, provided with her own toys. The pusa-kal became the sosi-cat. Sounds like a feline tele novela.
But despite the "upbringing", I guess, primal instincts would eventually surface.
One day, the pampered feline went missing. My friend was quite upset. She searched the usual spots. No luck.
Their neighbor's kasambahay had alluded to seeing the wandering kitty with a tomcat.
Visions of that awkward Simba frolicking scene in the Lion King came to mind.
"But she is only a baby!!!"
But I guess, much like dog years, there are cat years.
The poor cat was banned from entering "her room" when she finally surfaced.
My friend has relented though.
Maybe soon enough, she will find herself becoming a "grandma".

Surprise

In the darkness illuminated by the Meralco lamp post, I saw the familiar white gate of our home. It was already past 11 o'clock at night. The kids must be asleep. Jun handed me the keys to the door which I gingerly opened. Nanay Linda heard the car come in and was about to open the door herself. Upon seeing me, it seemed she saw a ghost.
"Hay naku. Sabi na nga ba! Di ka rin makatitis."
I put my finger over my lips to shoosh her.
I make for the stairs.
Lomi and Nikki were asleep. Maxine was watching a television show.
"Maxine!"
My daughter was speechless. She locked me in the longest embrace and she was uncontrollably sobbing. Jun catches everything on video which has been banned from public viewing.
Lomi slept like a log. And he felt like one as I tried to wake him. One eye popped open. "Hi mama." And off he was again to snoozeland.
I couldn't believe my eyes as I stared at Nikki. She has grown so much since the last time I saw her. Even though I see her on the internet virtually everyday, seeing her made me realize the painful truth that I have been missing out on her growing years.
She was also blissfully asleep. Much to Nanay Linda's protestations, Jun successfully woke her up. When her eyes peeled open, she had the most angelic smile. She was happy to see Jun. "Papa! Papa!"
Jun thrust me forward.
"Look oh, I have a surprise!"
"Who's this?"
Nikki then exclaimed, "Mama! Mama!"
I felt an overwhelming rush of relief.
She knows me. She knows me.
My first night again home. I wish it never ended.

Postscript.
I guess Lomi might have thought he was dreaming when he first "saw" me. I was woken in the morning by the thuds of his footsteps on the hardwood floor. Our bedroom door suddenly opened wide. It was Lomi. He had this most incredulous look on his face. He pointed towards me. "Mama. Mama Donna." He came closer and pressed his cheek to mine, constantly touching my face. Ang sweet ng panganay ko. Sarap to be home.

lay off

It has been a while since I had a blog entry. Quite a lot of things have happened.
On December 28, I boarded the AirCanada flight for HK. From there, I caught the Cathay flight to Manila.
I had called Jun before I boarded in Toronto.
The big thing about this homecoming was that it was a complete surprise.
Not even my kids knew.
I could not wait to see their faces.
Yes. Manila, Manila. Ain't no place like Manila. Manila I am coming home.
I found myself humming.
When the plane touched down, I felt my heart leap and tears brimming my eyes.
Immigration was a breeze. Being an OFW has its perks.
The wait at the conveyor belt was unbearably long....all of 55 minutes.
Again, I love being an OFW. No questions with Customs.
The Manila heat and humidity enveloped me. The dense crowd at Arrival was overwhelming.
I craned my neck as my eyes scanned the compact mass of humanity.
And then, there he was. He was waving back at me.
I found myself smiling from ear to ear. My tears falling.
Papa! Papa!
In seconds, the gap between us closed.
I am home.