the view from my window

When I can afford the luxury of lounging in my bed, I find myself looking at my window. There, I see Maxine's "sun-catchers". These are her glass clingy crayola art creations which she toiled over as I was away on call at the hospital. She would hang them one by one for me to discover as I awoke from my post call slumber.


Maxine literally brings the sunshine in to my room with her sun-catchers.


A unicorn, flowers and a present for me!


My private ocean even in the winter.

I've got mail

I came home exhausted from work yesterday evening. Out of 32 babies in the unit, there are six who are really sick. I have three of them. So that is how my day went. I felt relieved handing over to the night team at the end of the day. I dashed for a quick exit. As I entered the main door of my apartment building, I glanced at my postal box. Junk mail. Don't you just hate it when it gets overflowing with flyers and promotional brochures. They are the reason why I make regular trips to the recycling bin. I was about to ignore them and just leave them there. Hopefully the guy who stuffs them in would see how full it is and will not put in any more.

But what the heck. There may be a good buy somewhere. My credit card balance is down to zero now. Woo-hoo!

I took them all out of the box. Once through my apartment door, I threw the thick wad of mail on the table. A fat blue envelope caught my eye. It was the kind that comes with a stationery set. I picked it up and instantly recognized Jun's handwriting. At the upper left corner it read: From Papa, Lomi, Maxine and Nikki. At the middle of the envelope: To Mama Donna. I carefully opened it and out came pictures, letters, drawings and scribbles. My eyes poured into them. These are certainly worth more than anything I could have wanted but at no extra cost.

the Talk part 1

Ate Fe dropped in at the house last week. During her visit, she pointed out to Jun that Maxine, our 9 year old, is growing up quickly to becoming a fine looking young lady. "Dinatnan na ba sya?" Truthfully, my poor husband did not see this coming at all in the near future. In other words, he was caught off guard and in near panic. What if? How does he explain this feminine phenomenon to her? Of course, the hotline led straight back to me.

"Mama, I think it is time." Time for what?
"The talk." You do it papa.
"Me? What do I know?...I know how to count the cycles and you know..." Men.

I wished I was there. I felt this needed to be done face to face so that I could assuage her fears. Sigh.

Hopefully, this can wait until December. Please Lord.

I had a moment..

The phone rang to life. I knew exactly who it was. On the other end, I could hear incessant crying. My heart broke at the sound of it. Jun was saying that Nikki awoke suddenly and was looking for her Ate Maxine who sleeps beside her. Maxine had already gone early this morning to school. They were trying to pacify her but to no avail. "Ate Mac...ate mac..." They had me on speakerphone. I spoke her name coaxingly. I then began to sing one of her favorite Barney songs. Her bawling quieted down to whimpers. I closed my eyes. I had a mental picture of having her in my embrace and lulling her back to sleep, kissing her brow gently. Inhaling deeply, I relish her sweet baby scent. Then I realized that I heard no more cries. I just had a moment there. Tears stung my eyes. Even though I am thousands of miles away, my heart is warmed that my Nikki knows and feels who I am.

new ties

In a rare occurence, I found myself faced with a free weekend. I guess I have always fallen back on work to keep myself focused. Now, I am totally disoriented. There is a ton of things that I need to get started with but I am like a car whose engine is just sputtering to life, each time the key is turned to crank it up. Pretty much, I forced myself to be productive. Did my laundry, baked brownies. By the afternoon, I had a fixed goal at least...to get myself ready. Lisa, a respiratory therapist Pat and I work with at the unit, invited us over to her place for dinner. Honestly, I had thought of getting out of it as I felt pangs of homesickness. When we knocked on her door, I was unsure. However, it did not take long for me to realize that I am glad we went. Her hubby Mike kept the laughs coming. Sarah, their charming four year old, just absolutely melted my heart. I sensed a filling of the void within me. It just seemed right in this home. The atmosphere was so cozy it felt like we have been friends for a long time. It was a lovely evening highlighted by good food and conversation. A refreshing way of forging new ties.

Go veggie?!

Thursday night was food night. A bunch of us trooped out to Baldwin Street, an area reminiscent of Malate, and chose to eat at Vegetarian Haven. Going in, I had this ridiculous vision of a giraffe munching and regurgitating on leaves. No matter. I was hungry after a full day’s work and getting by on a slice of cake. I was quite resigned to start with carrot sticks and hopefully, a tasty dip. Perusing the menu, there was quite a selection of food. Was I having visual hallucinations? I read the words steak, chicken, ham, salmon, prawn, turkey and burgers. No I wasn’t. A friend was verbalizing her surprise too. On closer inspection, all those words were in quotation marks. Aahhh….I wondered how these simulated meats would measure up to my carnivorous palate. We gamely ordered fried King “Prawn” for starters and when it was brought out, it was met with “oohh’s and ahhh’s”. Visually no doubt it was prawn, complete with the tail. The taste? Definitely prawn. The only thing off was the texture but still quite a delight to eat. Appetizers consumed, I carefully chose my entrée. I wondered about having “steak” which actually is made of seitan, the vegetarian wheat meat. Or perhaps tempeh, a type of cultured soybean. My eyes spotted the Portobello Mushroom Medley Burger (I love fungi!) but I decided for the “Seafood” with purple rice in clay pot. “Seafood” referred to more “prawns” and “salmon”. The meal promised to have bits of “ham” too and of course, tofu and mushrooms. I excitedly opened up the lid of the stylized and glazed palayok set before me and took a whiff of the mouthwatering aroma that excited my senses. Had this been a blindfolded taste test, I would have been fooled. I rose from the dinner table satiated. Vegetarian food is certainly a revelation. Did this make me a convert? I wasn’t that fooled. I am having good old crispy bacon in the morning….

my gangsta tubero

This morning, I realized as I peered into the mirror hanging above the bathroom sink that the water that ran from the faucet as I washed my face and brushed my teeth remained a stagnant pool. Uh-oh. Undeniably a clogged drain. From the days before, I had noticed the water to go down the drain slowly, now it was stubbornly still. I wish Mang Romy, my dad’s jack of all trades go- to-guy, was here. Wishful thinking. I guess I will have to deal with it. Sigh, the perils of independent living. I looked underneath. I tried to loosen the fittings around the elbow pipe but it wouldn’t budge. I needed a wrench. Ok, stop there. This is definitely not my area of expertise. Visions of a flooded bathroom floor is not pleasant at all. Call a plumber? Hmmm…there has to be a cheap, quick fixer upper alternative to this. That’s it! Liquid sosa (my hubby’s favorite instant “tubero”)…there has to be a north American equivalent. I went over to the nearby convenience store and scoured the shelves for something similar to sosa. What the heck is sosa in the first place? Anyway, I found the Liquid-Plumr Pro. It claimed to clear the toughest clogs. The Plumr name and spelling was so gangsta. Sounds exactly what I needed. I came home and couldn’t wait to conquer the murky depths that lay beneath the polished porcelain exterior of the sink. As per instructions, I poured half the Pro into the drain and waited for half an hour. I came back to let hot water run through it and voila!..the water flowed seamlessly. I heard the happy burp of the drain as the last of the water trickled into its mouth. Another household catastrophe averted!

wanda and the alligator king

Picking up from my last blog entry, Julie recently passed an email she received from a friend of hers about his recollection of childhood delights. Or rather, non-recollection....that is, a light bulb would go "ting!" in my head when I hear or read about an old tv show or some other fad but more than half the time, I wouldn't remember the full details. I just know that I know but I don't remember what I know. Huh? Anyway, two things for sure that I do remember clearly are wacky Wanda the Witch and the affable Alligator King. Care to take this trip down memory lane? Ah, the good old days....

a superfriend

I awoke feeling disoriented. The phone was ringing. The voice on the other end was saying, “Hello…this is TD Canada Trust. Is Patroyo Matio there?” Oh, cripes. They again murdered my roomie…her name that is. I said that she was still at work and we hung up. I felt like I wanted to go back to sleep but couldn’t. My mind was awake but felt heavy. I obviously am post call. It is 3 in the afternoon. Okay, mental checklist. I am still in my scrubs. Take a nice shower. Check. Eat breakfast? Or lunch? Or just wait for dinner time? Hmm….maybe just the latter. Next, eat out or cook-in? Choices, choices. In the meantime, I made a fat, gooey peanut butter sandwich. I turned the TV on, flipping through the channels, not really caring but just wanting to fill the empty apartment with the sounds of another human being. A familiar tune caught my ear. OMG! It was Lynda Carter all garbed up in the red and blue with the golden stars fighting off the “Nazis”. Wonder Woman! My eyes were glued. I have this memory of “fighting” my older brother, fending off his karate chops with my “feminine” bracelets. Funny that she does all her fight scenes and not a hair falls out of place. Great Hera! And to cap off the nostalgia this afternoon, the show was back to back with David Banner and the Incredible Hulk. I heard those immortal lines…. “Don’t make me angry Mr. McGee. You wouldn’t like me when I am angry.” Lou Ferrigno rocks! Now, I will be keeping an eye out for “The Six Million Dollar Man” and “Bionic Woman”.

smokey mountain

Just today, I had done two lumbar punctures, inserted umbilical lines and a chest tube. Not that I am keeping count of what skills I am acquiring / honing. What I am running count of is the ridiculous amount of wasted medical supplies I encounter day in and out. Take for example, in performing the LP's, a whole LP set is opened up each time. A set includes a manometer, stopcock, gauge 22 spinal needle, tubes etc. I really only get to use the sterile disposable drapes and the tubes for the specimen. The needle I use is the good and old reliable gauge 25 syringe needle. So basically, everything else...manometer included is waste. Just two days ago, I had ordered surfactant for a 500 gram infant just born and would only require 2.5 cc's. After the 2.5 cc was drawn, the rest of the 7.5 cc was ditched!!! OMG! And unopened angiocaths, tapes that fall to the floor would not be picked up...it will go straight to the trash. I find myself wanting to collect all these and send them back home...sort of like being a scavenger in a smokey mountain pile of medical waste. I can hear strains of "Paraiso" in my head...